Recap/Review: The Real Housewives of New Jersey - "Sealed with a Diss"

Airdate: Monday, May 30, 2011, 9 pm ET/PT on Bravo

Rating: ★★★★★

Recap/Review: The Real Housewives of New Jersey - "Sealed with a Diss" 1

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY -- Season:3 -- Pictured: (l-r) Jacqueline Laurita, Teresa Giudice, Caroline Manzo, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga -- Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo

How long can this family feud go on? Stop acting like babies and kiss and make up already! At least that’s how I feel. I don’t know about you, but I’m happy Teresa makes an effort in “Sealed with a Diss.”

One of the things that make me laugh is Teresa’s constant mispronunciation of words. And she does it a lot! She calls herself an “author” because she’s written a cookbook, “Skinny Italian,” that has been on the Bestseller’s List for nine weeks, but she can’t even pronounce the word “ingredients!” To her, it’s “ingrediences.” Hah! But when she tells the people who are doing a photo shoot of her dishes, “I don’t like cummin. I’m like what the hell…I don’t even like that – I don’t like the way it tastes,” I totally cracked up! Was she really referring to the spice cumin, or something else? <evil grin> What was really funny was the way the women began laughing behind her back as she leaves the room! And did you check out that cellphone when she was talking to her husband?!! Talk about bling!

I can’t tell you how much I dislike Joey G. He is such a male chauvinistic horn dog! I am dumbfounded when he comes home and tells Melissa he’s pissed because they didn’t have sex the previous night (after the fashion show)!

Melissa: “Babe, I’m sorry. I was tired.”

Joey: “You should be waiting up for me. Take a shot of espresso, throw some water on your face, wake up.”

Melissa: “You think like the world is over …it’s like three days.”…

Joey: “You know how much stress I got? I got all this poison in my body.”

Really Joey? Poison? That’s what you call it? And this whole conversation goes down in front of the kids! At least he stays in the bathroom later when Melissa’s giving the kids a bath. But there he goes again. “I’m jealous. You’re the hottest mom goin’. You’re a MILF. Am I gonna get a bath later, huh? Put the kids to bed, ‘cause I’m ready to rock and roll…Tonight’s the night,” all the while leering like some dirty old man. Eww. What really irks me about Joey G, though, is his on-screen commentary: “The Gorga family? We’re known for our sex drive. Our father was a very sexual man. I guess I take after him. What’re ya gonna do?” Ugh.

Caroline, Jackie and Lauren help Albie and Christopher move into their new apartment. Imagine the surprise when the guys’ good friend, their “mister” (man+sister) according to Christopher, comes in, along with his dog Delores, and tells Caroline he’s moving in too! I can’t wait to see what happens with three grown men living in one apartment. I particularly enjoyed this scene because I’m a real dog person, and Delores is as cute as they come. Lauren, Albie and Christopher’s sister, however, is feeling somewhat left out I guess because she tells everyone she and her boyfriend, Vito, are going to get engaged and she’s going to move out too. “I don’t want to get married and then move in ‘cause what if I discover that I hate a lot of things about him?” Ahh, the forward thinking of the younger generation.

Jackie takes a tearful look back at her life when her parents come for a visit. Jerry, her dad, explains Ashley’s problems stem from her coming from a broken family. Jackie and her husband split when Ashley was young, and he remarried and now has kids with his second wife. Give me a break! I am so tired of divorced parents taking all the heat for their children’s bad behavior. Divorce happens – get over it. Life goes on. Ashley is a spoiled brat who doesn’t take anyone’s feelings into consideration other than her own. OK, she has another family living in Texas but come on, she only sees them twice a year. How can that possibly be the underlying problem to how rudely she treats her mother? But with Jackie blaming herself, how can you expect anything different from her daughter?

Cousin Kathy goes to Caroline’s to explain what happened during the ruckus at the fashion show. Kathy tells Caroline she was coming from “a place of love” when she tried to talk to Teresa. What a set of brass cojones Caroline has when she cuts Kathy short, “To be honest, I don’t care. I’m not going to lie.” Good for you, Caroline! She tells Kathy it’s their problem, and she doesn’t want to be dragged into it. Kathy was obviously annoyed! I have to give it to Rich, Kathy’s husband, who, feeling sorry for her, buys her a brand new white Mercedes Benz and presents it to her complete with red bow and a beautiful bouquet of flowers. The man really knows how to treat his wife. Although, to be quite honest, it’s a bit much. I mean, what in the world would the man buy if someone died? But that’s how they do it in New Jersey – I guess.

I have to take a minute and comment on Caroline’s hair when she meets Teresa, Jackie, and Kim D at COC+CO, another trendy dress shop. Kim D takes them there to shop as a way of thanking them for their support at the Posche Fashion Show. With Caroline’s hair brushed back, totally off her face, I think it makes her look so much younger! Of course, the shopping trip turns into another re-hashing of the events at the christening when Caroline tells them of Kathy’s visit. When Teresa starts explaining to Kim D she’d like to make up but she’s really just too busy, I almost choked. Come on, Teresa – if you really want to make up, you’ll find the time. Caroline suggests she write her brother a letter instead. Jackie offers to help when Teresa turns combative about what she’s going to write. Poor Jackie, she had no idea what she was getting into with that offer!

Try as she might, Jackie has a heck of a time convincing Teresa to leave out all the accusatory things she’s putting in her letter and is regretting ever offering to help in the first place. But she goes with Teresa to deliver the letter as requested. Unfortunately, or should I say fortunately, Melissa and Joey G aren’t home.

I don’t get it. Melissa reads the letter out loud and it looks to me like there’s a good three or four pages there – which would make sense given the amount of time and paper Teresa went through at Jackie’s. I’m talking a whole pad! But she only reads enough to possibly fill one page. I’d love to know what else Teresa wrote that the producers saw fit to leave out. I have to laugh though. On one hand, Melissa totally disses Teresa, hating on her like nobody’s business. On the other hand, she tells Joey G he should mend things with Teresa. “The bottom line is – are you willing to never speak to your sister again? I mean, I don’t think you want to do that.”

Tune in to The Real Housewives of New Jersey on Mondays at 9 pm ET/PT on Bravo to find out what happens next as everyone gets ready for Thanksgiving in “Gobblefellas.”

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Linda

Love TV, movies, and books--mostly mysteries, with a good love story thrown in every now and then. I have four adopted dogs who I adore. I love trying new recipes, and enjoy eating what I make. English language perfectionist. Reading in bed, Italian food, warm weather, the beach, all types of games = favs!