Another One Bites the Dust. Get It? Review: True Blood – “Radioactive”

Season 6, Episode 70

Air Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013, 9/8c on HBO

RATING: ★★★★★

“I’m a survivor too.” – Sookie Stackhouse

True Blood has done it again. Ruined yet another could-have-been-amazing finale. Going back to its roots, “Radioactive” misses the mark by miles. The recycled set, time jump to months later, and complete disregard for the essence of these characters set me on the road to Never-Againville. You fooled me once, writers, but not again. No amount of cliffhanging plot lines will draw me into this mess for another season.

Observations and thoughts:

Hair’s the Matter

What the hell happened to Alcide’s (Joe Manganiello) hair between “Radioactive” and “Life Matters?” One episode passes and the man’s hair looks like a damn rat’s nest? I don’t get it. He looked fine at the funeral. Inconsistency or what the fuckery?

Where’s A Maenad When You Need One?

What happens at Bill’s house, stays at Bill’s house.

So I have to mention how ridiculous it seems to me that the vamps high on faerie blood are going overboard in their revelry. Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) drank an entire faerie himself and was funny, flirty, and a little spacey. These vamps take a few sips from Bill (Stephen Moyer) and are having a damn Marianne-esque orgy on Bill’s front lawn. Something isn’t right here.

Role Reversals

“I know I’m still high, but I swear I could never hate him again.” This is not Tara (Rutina Wesley). This is Tara on drugs. I never thought her hate for Bill would diminish, no matter what he did. Guess I was wrong. And when did Tara and Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) switch roles? She bosses Pam around like she’s the maker in the relationship. It’s interesting in a way, although I’m thoroughly confused by it. Why does Pam allow Tara such free reign? Why not just release her and get on with it? Could this be a potential future plot line the writers will explore? Do I really care either way?

Jason’s (Ryan Kwanten) been turned into a fangbanger. What a switch-a-roo. Never thought we’d see that happen. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing. He used to be the one hopping from bed to bed, using women as his next quick lay. Now he’s being led along by his prick with no relief in sight. Just desserts, maybe?

Billith Is No More

“At the beginning of all of this, you said I had to protect your humanity. Please do not make a failure out of me.” Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) delivers great speeches when needed, but she doesn’t follow through. It was James (Luke Grimes) who fed Bill when he was dying in the prison. She cares for him, worships him, and would probably drain any amount of faeries for him, but she can’t be what he needs. What he needs is a personality transplant. I don’t like boring Bill. I never have. His reclaiming his humanity also means he’s back to putting us to sleep with his brooding and 18^th century southern accent.

Things That Make You Go Hmm…

Who else knew Sookie wouldn’t hold to her promise?

I’m curious to know how long the vampires who ingested Warlow’s (Rob Kazinsky) blood would have been able to walk in the daytime.

Does anyone else think how idiotic it is to host a party at night when there are roving, sick vampires waiting to crash and feast? It’s one of the things I was thinking while watching the goings on at Bellefleur’s Bar & Grill. Bellefleur’s? I can’t tell you how hilarious that sounds. One million dollars doesn’t make you rich anymore. And I doubt two will get Arlene (Carrie Preston) too far in the world. But I guess that remains to be seen.

An entire episode and Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) doesn’t get to say two words. Need I say more? Ellis is being so underutilized it’s not even funny.

How can a few drops of vampire blood replenish significant blood loss? Anyone?? Even with its magical properties, there’s still some science to the whole thing.

Warlow turns out to be a formidable foe for all of three seconds. I’m sorry to see he won’t be more of a problem to the citizens of Bon Temps. (Did anyone else think it’d take more than a stake to the heart to be rid of the half fae half vampire?)

Sookie (Anna Paquin) hides in her bathroom to escape Warlow. Sookie. Hides. In. Her. Bathroom. Seriously? She says she’s a survivor. Is this how she survives? Not the strong Sookie I know.

Is Andy (Chris Bauer) the only smart human left on True Blood? See the above mini-rant about gathering at night when zombie-vampires are on the loose.

The new “it” couple to watch. Yet another dose of Insta-love. Yum.

Speaking of the gathering, does anyone think Lettie-Mae (Adina Porter) is up to no good? Her plea is compelling but she doesn’t love Tara like she should. Is it possible she’s setting her daughter up to be infected with Hep-V? Or is she turning to the only help she knows she can get without having to sacrifice her soul?

Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammel) is mayor of Bon Temps. “If we’re going to be safe, every single human needs a vampire and every vampire needs a human.” Feel free to discuss.

Funny lines:

Tara to Pam: “You guys are the worst fucking makers ever.”

(It’s true, which makes it funny.)

Bill to Alcide: “You can growl all you want, bright eyes, but it won’t change the truth.”

Last but not least, we’re left wondering if Eric is toast. I don’t think so. I think he’s pissed he lost his day-walking ability and all that entails. So don’t worry, folks. HBO knows when it has a winner on its hands. Killing off the one character people tune in to watch would be akin to television suicide. I’ve already seen comments where viewers talk about tuning out and cancelling their subscriptions to HBO should the Viking vampire not return next season. His rescue will make for compelling TV, especially if Pam is the one to come to his rescue. Wouldn’t that be interesting? You’ll have to let me know how it turns out though as I’m taking a hiatus from this bull-pucky.

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Writer, mother, realist, cloud lover, daydreamer, dessert enthusiast, sweet tea addict, perfectionist, and lover of life and Christ, but not in that order. http://www.fanfiction.net/~vikingloverelle