Air Date: Sunday, June 10, 2012 9/8C on HBO
RATING:
The new Three Musketeers! I’m not sure where this is going but I’m curious.
What the fudge just happened?! I remember season four—crazy witches, an amnesiac vampire, and lots of werewolves. So why do I feel like I’ve missed something?
Observations:
The first thing to clue me in to the big no-no that’s about to happen is watching Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) clean while Bill’s (Stephen Moyer) on the phone. I’m shaking my head thinking “something here doesn’t feel right but it’s just the first few minutes and I should give it a chance.” We know Bill is King and it’s apparent Eric does too. (Not too subtle there, writers.) It doesn’t get much better for me but that’s because I expect some sort of quality programming from HBO. There is no amount of male bonding that can get Eric and Bill on the same team. None. I just can’t put those words together without laughing. They hate each other. Well, Bill has hated Eric since season one when Bill realized Eric could ruin his plans of acquiring a certain fairy-telepath. So I have to ask, was Sookie’s (Anna Paquin) rejection really enough to pull two frenemies together, for better or worse? “I’m not leaving you here.” Eric seems to think it’s ‘bros before hoes’ but I sense a bit of hesitation in Bill. Could it be that Eric’s complete refusal to acknowledge Sookie’s in danger means he’s hurt the most? Cares the most? Wants her the most? I’m probably just grasping at straws at this point.
It is beyond obvious that True Blood has gone on such a wild tangent that it’s far too late to bring it back to some semblance of what it once was. That being said, I love Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) and the great dialogue she’s given. Who else can say “fucktarded” and “super snatch” with such panache? I love her quirkiness and I-don’t-give-a-shit attitude. While I find it a bit contrived that Sookie and Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) take it upon themselves to make a life-altering decision for Tara (Rutina Wesley) that can’t be undone, I’ll bite (heh, heh). Still, you know Tara won’t like her new life because of three words: Franklin. Fucking. Mott. Hello!! Are we forgetting what he did to Tara? I have other issues with this—besides the fact she’s clearly dead and no amount of vamp blood can fix this mess—but I’ll keep them to myself. We’ll see how this plays out. Did you hear Pam say, “I’ve done this before” to Sookie and Lafayette? When and with whom? Now that’s something I’d like to learn more about.
Steve Newlin (Michael MacMillan): “gay vampire American.” Um… ‘kay. Talk about way out of left field.
If Luna wasn’t in the picture, would Sam still be in lust with Sookie?
When will the writers get it? There used to be more substantial scenes with Sam (Sam Trammell) but now he’s an afterthought or a means to an end. I used to think he had a great storyline before. Where the hell did it go? When will Sam get his happy ending?
Is there some kind of bizarro dream world thing going on here? Nothing feels real. Eric and Bill’s capture and escape is ridiculous—they are in one of the biggest car trunks I’ve ever seen. The slow motion shots were unnecessary. The simple fact that all four vamps escape a fiery car explosion unscathed… need I say more? Fire is bad *said in my Mr. Mackey from South Park voice*. Vamps are flammable. What. The. Fuck?!
Lafayette’s hair. I haven’t liked it since the return to Bon Temps however many years in the future it is now, so I’m glad to see it’s been changed to something I can stomach. ‘Cause seriously ya’ll, that faux-hawk was creeping me out. It was almost a character all on its own. I do love his rant though. “Don’t fucking growl at me.” Way to stand up to a werewolf, Lala!
Yet another scene where Sookie cries. For crap’s sake, I cannot take hearing Paquin fake cry every episode for another season. And whose genius idea was it to have flashback Sookie and Tara sound like their adult selves? That was bad.
Russell Edgington (Denis O’Hare) doesn’t make a physical appearance in “Turn, Turn, Turn,” but his presence is felt in the tension we see in Eric’s stance when he receives the news of Russell’s ‘escape’ from a most helpful werewolf, Alcide Herveaux (Joe Manganiello). But why does Alcide feel the need to warn everyone about the scary 3,000 year-old vampire from hell? Does he want the vamps to handle their own problems because he’s certainly got a handful of werewolf issues to deal with? Just what is in store for Alcide this season? I know it has a lot to do with Sookie, and I’m interested to see if the two decide to make a go at an obvious segue into a relationship. They’re both single—although Alcide is single because Sookie killed his girlfriend. In sort of self-defense, of course. *wink, wink*
I don’t want to but feel it’s my duty to at least mention Jason’s (Ryan Kwanten) infatuation with Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll), and her oblivious behavior. She’s still learning what it means to be a vampire and hasn’t thought much about her treatment of men and what effect she has on them. It’s an interesting twist to see Jason on the flipside of his usual relationships. He’s never been the one to get dumped or treated like a booty-call. Should make for some funny or uncomfortable moments at Jason’s expense.
This dynamic duo is cruisin’ for a bruisin’.
I’ve been a fan of True Blood since the first season. I watched the show with no knowledge of novels or where the storyline originally came from and loved it. Even after picking up the Sookie Stackhouse Novels and devouring them, I still enjoyed True Blood for what it was. Now I have to admit things are quickly going downhill. I’m not sure there’s enough blood left in the world to revive this cold dead corpse. I know I’ll be in the minority here because TB fans are the most avid out there. But I can’t help feeling the essential spark needed for a successful series has fizzled out here. You can’t expect me to be entertained by a few snarky remarks and a quick flash of skin here and there. That’s not what True Blood is about (or at least it wasn’t). But maybe that’s the point. I no longer know what the show is about or what it’s trying to say. Strictly from an entertainment perspective, it’s not. If I’m more inclined to read a YA novel during an episode, there’s something wrong.
Tune in to True Blood, Sundays at 9/8c on HBO. For more information on the show, visit: http://www.hbo.com/#/true-blood.
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Photo credit: Lacey Terrell/HBO © 2012 Home Box Office, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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