Season 5, Episode 1
Air date: Monday, April 14, 2014 at 9/8c on Syfy.
“Don’t try and explain time travel; it never makes sense and it always makes my head hurt.” – Pete
As you may or may not know, this is the final, abbreviated season of Warehouse 13. There are only six episodes left before the warehouse is closed forever and we say goodbye to our trusty band of warehouse agents and caretakers – Agents Pete (Eddie McClintock), Myka (Joanne Kelly), Steve Jinks “Jinks” (Aaron Ashmore), the new caretaker/tech guru Claudia (Allison Scagliotti), previous caretaker Mrs. Frederic (CCH Pounder), and finally, Artie (Saul Rubinek), the grizzled yet wise warehouse manager, of sorts.
When we last left our warehouse peeps, Claudia was stuck inside with the evil Paracelsus (guest star Anthony Head) as they battled for control of the warehouse in “The Truth Hurts.” Paracelsus was the caretaker back in the 1500s when it was Warehouse 9. After being bronzed, Paracelsus was inadvertently set free, only to wreak havoc on the world. His diabolical plan to use the artifacts for the betterment of science includes human experimentation. As fans of Warehouse 13 know, some of these artifacts can be quite hazardous to one’s health if not properly handled.
As we jump into “Endless Terror,” by using a special artifact, Paracelsus gains complete control over Clauda. He forces her to reveal secrets of what she knows about the current warehouse by using another artifact. Meanwhile, Artie and Jinks are trying to figure out a way to break through the protective barrier Paracelsus places around the warehouse. Artie uses buckets upon buckets of the purple neutralizing goo to coat a car so Jinks can drive through the force field. In theory, it sounds like a great plan; in execution, not so much. Enter Myka with her brilliance and a way to get inside. Who knew there was an addendum to the fail safe mechanism for the shield?
Paracelsus devises his plan to go back in time to change the course of history and the warehouse’s future. He succeeds but we all know it’s only temporary…right? The twisty turn the writers concoct leaves us in a bit of a panic, especially when Dr. Vanessa Calder (guest star Lindsay Wagner) and Hugo Miller (guest star Rene Auberjonois) try to experiment on Artie. In spite of Artie spouting off details of each of their lives, the two have no choice because Paracelsus is holding their children hostage. And even poor Abigail (guest star Kelly Hu) is being manipulated in the most extraordinary way – she is the organic matter being used to power the computer, which basically turns her into a human CPU (central processing unit).
Paracelsus isn’t working alone, though. The devious Benedict Valda (guest star Mark Sheppard) plots something of his own once he figures out Pete, Myka, Jinks, Artie, and Claudia are from an alternate reality. He takes one of the 13 tuning fork artifacts to ground him to the reality of the restored warehouse and we spot him at the end of the episode inside Warehouse 13, , looking for specific artifacts. What is he up to?
The question on your minds might be about Myka and the cancer diagnosis she received at the end of season four. Well, that is answered – she’s had surgery and is fine, so she says, and according to her, the tumor was benign. The gesturing done by both Myka and Pete in regards to her “lady parts” or as Pete says, “downtown” is one of the funniest moments in “Endless Wonder.” I think with an abbreviated season, there isn’t much time to delve into this aspect of the storyline. Executive Producer Jack Kenny addressed this in a conference call on April 4, along with McClintock and J. Kelly. It would have been too much of a downer given the already diminished morale of this being the final season of Warehouse 13.
Top 13 Moments of “Endless Terror”
13. Seeing Vanessa and Hugo again, and the look on Artie’s face when he sees them both, especially Vanessa.
12. Meeting Lisa Da Vinci (Rebecca Mader), the great granddaughter of Leonardo Da Vinci and an agent of Warehouse 9.
11. The purple neutralizing bird they use in Warehouse 9. What! Yes, they use a purple bird. How did it go from using a live animal to the purple goo they use now?
10. Pete being Pete. I love McClintock’s comedic timing and how he infuses Pete with a man-child quality in the face of danger.
9. Seeing Mrs. Frederic on the Farnsworth talking to Artie. She’s still alive and kicking.
8. Getting to see more cool artifacts, especially the mirror that shows past events, and Al Capone’s machine guns.
7. Seeing Abigail as the human computer – it is absolutely insane but also intriguing.
6. A modernized Warehouse 13 – it is weird seeing the warehouse so…bright and constructed of concrete and steel.
5. Pete finally getting Paracelsus by using the scalpel Paracelsus says would cure Myka.
4. Artie and Myka restoring Warehouse 13’s alcove fires and symbols, thus disconnecting Paracelsus from controlling the warehouse.
3. Watching the brilliant Anthony Head as Paracelsus – he’s just magnificent.
2. Claudia dropping the bomb on Artie about her not-so-dead sister.
1. Pete mimicking juggling faux boobies on himself when he picks up Myka at the hospital, asking whether her “lady parts,” including the “boobie region,” are ok. Hysterical! Seriously hilarious – only McClintock can make that look so innocent.
I won’t tell you exactly how it all ends in “Endless Terror,” but let’s just say Paracelsus looks good in bronze.
Tune in to Warehouse 13, Mondays at 9/8c only on Syfy.
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