Recap/Review: The Real Housewives of New Jersey, S3, E11 - "A Very Jersey Christmas"

Airdate: Sunday, July 31, 2011, 10:00 pm ET/PT on Bravo

Rating: ★★★★★

Ho, Ho, Ho! Santa’s here, giving out presents to all the little girls and boys. Big girls and boys too – well some of them, that is. But before I get ahead of myself …

We pick up where we left off last week with Christmas Eve dinner at the Giudices. I think it’s totally unreasonable for Teresa to be upset with Joey G. simply because he wants to go to Kathy’s for Christmas Eve dinner. She thinks Kathy invited Joey and Melissa on purpose as a means of coming between the Giudices and the Gorgas. I think dinner was arranged well in advance of Teresa and Joey making up and she should understand that. Thankfully, Teresa doesn’t push the issue so Joey and Melissa are able to leave on friendly terms. The poor little girls though, they want to stay and play. Melissa sums it up perfectly. “…it would have been nice if Kathy could have been at Teresa’s too, like we usually do, and then we all would have been together. That’s what would have been the best thing.”

We also go back to Christmas Eve dinner at the Manzos. After a long hard day at the Brownstone, Albert finally arrives home. Poor guy has to eat leftovers. With the amount of food Caroline prepared, I’m sure he won’t be lacking for something to eat. Caroline and Jacqueline discuss the New Year’s Eve party being held at the Brownstone and Caroline asks Jacqueline what she thinks of inviting Kathy and Rich. Both Caroline and Jacqueline know Teresa may not like it if the Wakiles are there. But as Caroline points out, “it’s not Teresa’s party,” and she and the Manzo boys are looking forward to spending time with the Gorgas. Caroline also knows Albert won’t be happy if she doesn’t include the Wakiles since they’ve done business together for years. As usual, Chris Laurita is the voice of reason. “Jacqueline, it’s very simple. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. [To Caroline] Invite them…Invite the Gorgas, invite the Wakiles, whatever their name is, and let’s have a good time.”

Remember a couple of episodes ago when Caroline and Albert had their jewelry designer create those beautiful bracelets for everyone? Well, after everyone has left the feast, they give them to Christopher, Albie and Lauren and it’s a very touching moment, especially for Lauren. I must admit, now that I’ve seen the finished product, I’d be proud to wear one of those bracelets too.

What a feast Kathy has put out! I was starving just looking at all the delicious food. I like Kathy – she really seems to have her head on straight. She’s very understanding when Melissa tells her Teresa wanted them to stay and had even set plates for Joey and her at the table, and how much she wished Kathy and Rich had been there. “Right now, maybe Teresa’s plate is just entirely too full to put things in the past and move forward. There’s always tomorrow. We’ll be together then.” As my mother would say, from Kathy’s lips to God’s ears. Let’s be done with all this drama! Kathy even tells Joey she would have been “totally cool” had he decided to stay at the Giudices. Kathy is one of the most well-grounded women I’ve ever seen – especially on The Real Housewives’ franchises!

Melissa tells Kathy she and Joey are considering going to the Brownstone for the New Year’s Eve party and Kathy thinks that’s fine even though she and Rich don’t have plans to do anything. Melissa decides to talk to Teresa about working things out with Kathy – after all, they are “blood” and Teresa’s said she’s all about family.

It’s Christmas morning at the Lauritas and everyone is exchanging presents. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I spotted one of the gifts wrapped in the same paper I used last Christmas – from the dollar store! I guess rich people don’t spend tons of money on everything. I can totally relate to Jacqueline when, during camera time, she tells us how hurt she is that Ashley didn’t buy her anything for Christmas, or Mother’s Day either, for that matter. My 40-year-old daughter also hasn’t bought me a present in a long time. I don’t understand what makes kids think they don’t need to buy things for their parents. It hurts! While I understand my daughter doesn’t have a lot of money, she could at least send me a card.

I don’t understand what Ashley says during her camera time. “I know it sounds terrible, but I didn’t get my parents anything for Christmas this year because I spent a lot of money on my car. I know I should have probably gotten them something, but…whatever,” with a shrug of her shoulder. Grrrr! I really dislike Ashley immensely! She’s the very definition of the word “selfish.” As Jacqueline says, “It doesn’t have to cost money. She could have made me, like, those cotton ball tissue box holders that she used to make me when she was little.” Jennifer (my daughter), if you’re reading this, take note!

There are enough toys at the Gorgas for them to open a small toy store! As Melissa explains during camera time, “My kids get, you know, over the top gifts for Christmas. If we couldn’t do it, we wouldn’t do it, but we can – because it’s for Jesus’ birthday and, well, we like to spend the money.” Tell it like it is girlfriend! But the kids aren’t the only ones who receive expensive gifts – Melissa does also. I’m pretty sure the black stilettos with diamond-encrusted (well, maybe they’re crystal-encrusted) ankle straps are Louboutins and the designer suitcase is a Louis Vuitton. I can’t believe she just drops the suitcase to the floor like Joey got it at a 5 and Under store in order to kiss Joey. As if that’s not enough, she then discovers a gold Rolex on the tree!

But wait! There’s more! The best part, or at least the part I’m most impressed with, is the private recording studio Joey has finished in the basement. What a cool space! I really hated it when Melissa complains there’s no bling on her microphone. As Joey says, “I just got you a bling watch!” At least she says she really appreciates him. “I just wanna squeeze him to death!” Of course, Joey’s only interested in making sure Teresa’s at home, where he can always find her. I thought for sure she’d have something really nice for him, but when Joey asks where his gift is, Melissa responds, “Not today! It’s Jesus’ birthday.” OMG, if I hear “Jesus’ birthday” out of Melissa’s mouth one more time, I’m going to scream! I guess I know what kind of gift Joey is expecting. (wink, wink)

While Teresa says they’ve toned down the amount of Christmas presents this year, I still see a fair amount of gifts for the girls under the tree, including a very sparkly pair of Uggs, a big drum set, what looks to be an iPod, a very expensive cell phone, a makeup kit, and a Mercedes convertible, among others. Teresa’s statement, “I want to teach our daughters that Christmas is not just about materialistic things. We want to show them it’s about family,” doesn’t ring true. And can you believe she’s jealous Santa is getting all the credit? LOL! Teresa bought Joe a beautiful chain with a cross, and he gives her two pairs of leather gloves and a Pasha Veneto shearling coat. I can’t even fathom a guess as to how expensive it is. But both Joe and the girls think Teresa will take it back since she’s returned his gifts before. What cracks me up is Teresa’s explanation as to why she took back the Louboutins Joe bought her one year. “Nobody rocks the beige Louboutin.” And then shockingly, at least to me, Teresa says, “So, no diamonds this year, huh?” Right Teresa, Christmas isn’t about “materialistic things.”

After the girls open their presents, poor little Gia is sick with diarrhea and vomiting. As she sits sipping the chamomile tea Teresa makes her, Joe and Teresa discuss Christmas Eve. It’s almost like Joe is trying to put a wedge between Teresa and her family. Again, he calls Melissa a “witch” and puts down Kathy for not telling Joey G and Melissa to eat dinner with Teresa and Joe. I don’t think Teresa quite knows what to think of what Joe tells her. Why can’t he just stay out of it and let his wife reconnect with her family?

It’s a lot more sensible over at the Wakiles where the kids receive two nice presents each from their parents. Kathy gives Rich a very nice platinum wedding band with a diamond in the middle since he’s lost his original wedding band several times. While he’s not too keen on wearing a wedding band after all these years, he tells Kathy since she bought it, he’ll wear it and cherish it. Aww… And that’s despite his earlier explanation of not wanting to wear a wedding band because it attracts women. He thinks that means he’s a keeper so someone else would want him. Uh, right, Rich! Kathy may believe that story, but I sure don’t. I was really impressed by 14-year-old Joseph and 16-year-old Victoria. In addition to Joseph’s short note, Victoria reads a beautiful letter she’s written to Kathy, explaining the gift she and Joseph are giving their mom and why they bought it. Not only does that bring tears to Kathy’s eyes, but Rich’s too. Mine also, if I’m being honest. The gift? They put their allowance together and bought Kathy a laptop to use to help start her business. Now there are some children who truly know the meaning of Christmas! As an aside – remember when Rich said the outdoor decorations he had someone else put up was his gift to Kathy? Well, I guess he wasn’t kidding because I didn’t see him give her anything! What is wrong with that man? Seriously, Rich?

I love Caroline and Albert. On a Christmas morning drive, Albert takes Caroline along the same route he drove the night he proposed to her, stops in the same spot he stopped previously, under a highway, gets out and goes around to her side of the car. He opens the door, gets down on one knee and asks if she’ll marry him again. He then gives her the most beautiful diamond ring. As Caroline tells the story, when he originally asked her to marry him, they were driving along this road and he was so nervous, he just pulled over on the side of the road under the highway and asked her to marry him. He didn’t even get down on one knee. She was a mere 92 pounds when they got engaged and her ring hasn’t fit her in a long time. Albert took the diamond from the original ring and had it reset in a gorgeous setting, complete with baguettes on the side similar to her old ring. You’re right Caroline – he’s a keeper. I mean, how romantic is that?

Chris is teasing Albie about a girl Albie’s excited to see that night at the concert they’re attending with their parents, Lauren and the Lauritas. The concert is Alexa Ray Joel’s, Billy Joel’s daughter. Albie met Alexa Ray a few months ago at a charity event they were both attending and he’s absolutely smitten with her. He’s so cute when he says, “She’s a pretty good looking girl.” According to Chris, mama Manzo would be thrilled if Albie and Alexa Ray hooked up. Christie Brinkley is there too, I’m sure supporting her daughter, who is every bit as beautiful as the former super model and every bit as talented as her father when she croons “All I Can Do is Love.”

The evening ends on a perfect note with a toast from Caroline, as you hear her say during camera time, “You know, we’re a rough and tumble bunch, but in that rough and tumble there’s so much love.”

Tune in to The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Sundays at 10:00 pm ET/PT on Bravo.

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Linda

Love TV, movies, and books--mostly mysteries, with a good love story thrown in every now and then. I have four adopted dogs who I adore. I love trying new recipes, and enjoy eating what I make. English language perfectionist. Reading in bed, Italian food, warm weather, the beach, all types of games = favs!