Feb 17 2015

Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce – “Rule No. 92: Don’t Do the Crime If You Can’t Do the Time” Retrospective. The Past and the Future.


Season 1, Episode 12

Air Date: Tuesday, February 17, 2015 at 10 pm ET/PT on Bravo



Only white people think partying in a prison jumpsuit is good.” – Marco

Abby and Jake are getting along great these days!

Abby and Jake are getting along great these days!

As “Rule No. 92: Don’t Do the Crime if You Can’t Do the Time” (“Rule 92”) opens, Jo (Alanna Ubach) is gathering a bunch of items in Abby’s (Lisa Edelstein) living room to donate to the school’s fundraiser for underprivileged children. Some of the things are really cool—like the “hamburger phone” from Juno that Lilly (Connor Dwelly) covets, a personally autographed copy of Arianna Huffington’s Thrive, and a teepee—but Jo’s real reason for participating has more to do with her daughter Zooey (Alison Thornton) than being charitable. Jo is becoming a real expert at getting what she wants by manipulating unsuspecting people, particularly Cheryl (guest star Kendall Cross) and her cohort, Aja (guest star Françoise Yip), the “momsters” at school.

Charlie (Dylan Schombing) annoys the hell out of me. “I peed in the teepee.” I don’t know how Abby puts up with his antics. She has too much stress as it is. Why does he think it’s ok to do whatever he wants; better yet, why doesn’t Abby discipline him? On top of that, I can’t figure out whether it’s jealousy or teenage angst at play here but Lilly’s statement, “Maybe it’s not too late for you guys [Abby and Jo] to switch babies,” is extremely hurtful. Maybe it’s a bit of both. It seems like both of Abby’s kids are having trouble adjusting to their parents’ separation.

I’m not sure how long Phoebe’s (Beau Garrett) relationship with Marco (guest star Brandon Jay McLaren) is going to last given the differences in their basic belief systems. He certainly cleans up nicely in the expensive suit she buys him to wear to the fundraising party. Phoebe has plenty of money to spend but trying to change a man to fit your perfect image never works. Besides, Marco isn’t the kind of guy to accept presents lightly. We learn a bit more about Phoebe’s background when she explains to Marco why she likes to spend money. Speaking of Phoebe’s past, I don’t know what Kori Wingo’s (guest star Suki Kaiser) relationship to Phoebe is other than they know each other from back in the day. It’s obvious both Phoebe and Kori’s stations in life have changed drastically as Phoebe is now a model and Kori is a famous photographer. Do you think Phoebe is the woman in the photo Kori donates to the fundraiser? Exactly what kind of relationship did these two ladies have years ago?

Lawyers almost always have their clients’ best interests at heart. They are able to see how the items in a divorce agreement affect the future because they have no personal connection. In Delia (Necar Zadegan) and Abby’s case, Abby doesn’t like the changes Delia wants to make to the financial aspect of Abby’s divorce demands. She’s afraid Jake (Paul Adelstein) will go “ballistic.” Having been through two divorces of my own, I can tell you I’ve never had an ex-husband treat me as thoughtfully as Jake treats Abby. He’s a real standup guy. As a matter of fact, how cool is it that they’ve reached a point in their separation where they can “high five” each other? That is, until their settlement conference.

Delia does a bit of retail therapy for her partnership review meeting. As an aside, I just love her wardrobe! Delia’s not aware, though, of the problem Gordon (guest star Matthew Glave) is causing for her until her boss Albert (guest star Brian Markinson) fills her in. I’m a bit surprised at how easily Delia caves when Albert tells her to wear something “devastating” to the dinner meeting he’s set up with Gordon. Is partnership so important to Delia she’s willing to sell her soul? And what about her self-esteem? I’ve always thought of Delia as such a strong woman. Dinner is riddled with double entendres; I’m astounded at how ridiculous Gordon is, letting his heart rule his mind. You know the old saying, “Never mix business with pleasure.” Will Delia also let her mind rule her heart?

I can tell a better lie than these two!

I can tell a better lie than these two!

It’s time for the big fundraiser party! Too bad Will (guest star Warren Christie) isn’t there to be “Clyde” to Abby’s “Bonnie.” Jo and Abby are the worst liars ever when explaining about the missing “hamburger phone.” What a ditz Aja is for believing their story! Cheryl, not so much; she’s an evil woman. And how about the John Travolta imitation Jake does from Pulp Fiction? What a hoot, although I’m not a fan of the wig he wears. I don’t know about you but I think Kristi (guest star Kira Clavell), Jake’s assistant, has designs on him. Do you realize how many times she touches him at the party?

Jake is spot on when he asks Abby whether she’s “spinning out a little bit, maybe.” Her reactions during the settlement conference, and the fundraiser—both with Jake and Cheryl—tell me Abby is having a problem with letting go. Jake and Abby’s body language after he places the diamonds around her neck certainly seems to confirm that, making me wonder whether they’re headed for reconciliation. What do you think would have happened if Will hadn’t rung the doorbell?

Funny Line

Abby to Phoebe and Jo: “Mickey Cohen and Bernie Madoff; this table’s not good for the Jews.”


I think, perhaps, writer Ilene Rosenzweig has gone through a divorce of her own with how pertinent the dialogue is in “Rule 92,” not to mention how good it is. This is an excellent penultimate episode in that Abby and Jake must now face the reality of their impending divorce; Phoebe owns up to her past and the effect it’s having on her future; and Delia has a tough decision to make where Gordon is concerned. In addition, Jo has her hands full with Zooey, who doesn’t seem to be handling Jo’s split from Frumpkiss very well. Shoplifting and thievery—really? It will be interesting to see how the writers end Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce’s freshman season next week, and what they’ll leave up in the air for season two.


What did you think of “Rule No. 92: Don’t Do the Crime if You Can’t Do the Time?” Hit me up on Twitter @SeasideTV or leave me a comment below to let me know what you think.

Tune in to Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce, Tuesdays at 10/9c, only on Bravo.

For more on the show, visit GG2D’s official website at http://www.bravotv.com/girlfriends-guide-to-divorce.

LIKE GG2D on Facebook.

Follow GG2D on Twitter @BravoTV using hashtag #GG2D, as well as @BravoGG2D, and @GG2DNews. You should also follow Lisa Edelstein @LisaEdelstein, Paul Adelstein @adelsteinPaul, J. August Richards @jaugustrichards, Beau Garrett @beaujgarrett, Necar Zadegan @zadeganand@Alannaubach, and writer/creator Marti Noxon @martinoxon.


All photos © 2015 Bravo Network, a division of NBC Universal, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

© 2015, Linda. All rights reserved.


Love TV, movies, and books--mostly mysteries, with a good love story thrown in every now and then. I have four adopted dogs who I adore. I love trying new recipes, and enjoy eating what I make. English language perfectionist. Reading in bed, Italian food, warm weather, the beach, all types of games = favs!

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